new life

i am now an english teacher at SMK Siong, Baling, Kedah
yes, a rural area next to Ulu Legong Hot Spring (nak gempak saja. air panas laa)
close to the settlement of aboriginal people of Sakai tribe
115km from my sweet heaven in Jitra, 2 hours journey with a quite challenging route
and after all the dramas and tears, it's already been 3 months since i was posted here
after all the crying, whining, ranting and cursing
i'm slowly trying to adapt to the new humble and simple lifestyle
honestly, i feel rather alien here
ok, let me make a list:

1. language / slang / accent
dont talk about English, i cant even understand their Malay ok! i'm a Kedahan for all my life, but still this Balingian is totally out of the scheme. their daily conversation is 'unique' (yeah right!) u can hear the mixture of kelantanese + kl + siamese slangs in one 'language'. i dont know how to describe la wei. but, every time they speak to me with their thick slang, i will go "hah? sorry? hah? what? hah? again?" ok thats it. i give up. speak what u want. if u need something from me, u better speak my language.

2. entertainment
none. how do i entertain myself? eat and sleep. oh and watch himym and some korean series again and again. yes, thats how boring my life is now.

3. culture
errr i'm not going to get myself involve with their super friendliness. i'm weird remember? anti social a bit. multiple personalities a bit. so better stick to myself. yes, afini is a hermit. stuck in her own cocoon.

4. food
cheap. but jitra is nicer.

conclusion, i wanna go home. ok bye.

change

sekejap je dah 8 tahun kan?
dulu study lagi
now dah kerja
if he was still here
he must be the happiest person because i am now a teacher
he always wanted me to be a teacher
"adik jadi cikgu dah la. orang perempuan elok jadi cikgu je" then he laughed (dont know why -__-)

every time bulan puasa, rindu tu akan jadi super kuat
sedih tu akan jadi extra tears
because time bulan puasa, he would come every day to me at the hostel
bulan tak puasa, he would come like once or twice a week
but ramadhan, he brought food for berbuka, and a can of horlicks / milo and red bean / cocunut buns for sahur
haih, sweet good old times
may u be happy there with your little angel Adam Afiq to accompany you
know that i would never forget u
that u always be in my heart and mind, every single day
that i always pray for u in my prayers
and that i always hope we would reunite as a whole family again in His paradise, insyaAllah
i love u, bang caq :')

on a side note:
now, am all alone
far far away in the remote area in the district of Baling, Kedah
close to some orang asli settlement
next to natural hot spring of Ulu Legong (yay me.)
no more delivery for berbuka
no more surprise visits
no more i'm-bored-lets-go-to-jj
just me alone
sleeping, eating, shopping, doing whatever i like alone
but i like it this way
yes, i am weird like that
anti-social.

sweet little thing

ok since this is one of the most sweetest things someone did to me
i'm going to write it here
so here it goes:

i was a substitute teacher in smk megat dewa from 18 august - 25 october 2013
alhamdulillah i got the chance to teach the students from form 1-5
tbh, most of them were naughty hahaha
but i enjoyed teaching them and we got along so well
and those form 4 and 5 were the closest with me (some still text and call me every day ^__^ )
we have sooo many sweet memory together!!

sooo, starting yesterday, the form 5 students are sitting for their SPM
and today is english paper
of course i was so nervous!! now dah ok hahaha
what make me so happy and senyum sambil type ni is
there was a call around 1.30pm by a student of mine
he just finished his paper at 12.45 and called me just to inform about the exam
and, and, that he wrote an essay about me!!
isn't that sweet??? hihi
he wrote about how i change his life to be a better person bla bla
because the essay is something about "and now i am a better person"
hihi i'm not so baik la to change a person
and he is already a good boy pun! he is quite naughty, but in a good way
macam mana eh, nakal yang boleh make u laugh la
bukan nakal yang rasa nak marah tu..
anyway, the way he told me what he had written melts my heart laaa
he mentioned my name, hometown, my voice, things that i had done and how i usually talk to him
haih.. thanks for having high regard for me
i wish all the best darling!
may Allah ease everything for u in the future :')

eh lagi satu, spotted essay and poem masuk la
alhamdulillahhhhh :)

ok tu je
dah jadi cikgu ni
kalau student call cakap thank you pun dah boleh happy kan? :)

serabut

i've always been a hot-tempered person
but bila dah makin besar ni (literally and figuratively)
i rather know how to control myself
no more outburst yang soon will embarrass myself
i learn how to keep it to myself
or sometimes i rant it out to someone i hold very close to my heart (thanks darling!)
but yeah, it's fine for me.

and i am easily annoyed, like seriously senang gila rasa annoying
benda2 yang insignificant pun boleh jadi issue
tapi instead of marah, cry (what?!) or amukan
i will keep it, press it deep deep deep down
benda macam ni i rarely (tak pernah kot) tell others
sebab selalunya benda2 kecik je
so rasa macam perlu la kan nak tell someone
dah sorang2 tau sudah
sendiri tak puas hati, sendiri simpan
tapi ni la masalah dia
bila selalu sangat simpan rasa annoying tu
lama2 benda tu akan muncul kat surface
hah bila jadi macam tu
the dragon will rear its ugly head la
urgh, hideous!

and now jadi serabut
the whole day tak boleh buat kerja sebab rasa serabut ni
haih. solat pun tak khusyuk tau
how eh?

this entry doesnt make sense, i know
it's just me trying to let my dragon breathes a little bit of smoke

afini, please recompose your usual self. thank you.

travel

hujan2 macam ni tetiba rindu gila hidup zaman few years back

time tu macam happy je

workload tak banyak

tapi duit banyak! hahaha

rindu sangat nak pi holiday macam dulu-dulu

tiap2 kali holiday mesti pi jugak mana-mana

even london

london tu pun kalau pi tempat lain pun, tetiba rasa nak pi pun boleh p je ;)

tapi yang ingat sangat sekarang ni time pi paris for the first time

sepanjang 3 tahun kat sana, alhamdulillah boleh p paris 3 kali

theres something in paris that makes my heart loves it so much

despite the roughness of the people (some jer), the beggars, quite dirty, mahal serba serbi

but stilllll...

first time pi paris in 2010, first year undergrad

the beginning of summer holiday

2 weeks before balik malaysia

we stayed there for 4 nights

p semua 12 orang (quite ramai kan?), all girls

tapi the most significant thing yang buat this trip sangat memorable was the day when it was just three of us; kayla, yana n I, 

we travelled the magnificent city just three of us

the whole day from morning till evening dah spend kat disneyland

in which located kat outskirt paris

then dari situ terus cross p eiffel tower

padahal the day before dah pi

but this time, nak rasa malam kat eiffel

and teringin sangat nak naik 

alhamdulillah we did go up sampai puncak!

and balik tu macam2 benda jadi

we did run dlm underground metro station sebab takut gila nobody was there!!

hahaha tu la gatal sangat nak jalan 

balik hotel, sengap je kami masuk bilik

pastu kuk kik kuk kik

it was the best momment la

i miss you, paris

i miss traveling laaaaaaaa

oh btw, for my future reference this is the entries for Paris :)

last

last day of practicum
mixture of feeling
but, currently i feel like crying
never thought that i would have this kind of attachment with the students
seriously, they are sooooo lovely, both girls and boys
with their "hi teacher" and "hello miss afini"
haih... i'm going to miss them, a lot!

and yesterday, one of my students asked me "teacher, do you think you will have the same students like us?"
i was speechless
and i know deep inside, my next students would never be the same :'(
i will love all my students (in the future)
but these Bainunians are my first babies
i will treasure all the memories here forever

to my 4 Rho, 4 Pi and 4 Beta, i pray to Allah may He ease everything for you
and even though i'm not teaching other forms
but we still got the chance to meet, talk and joke with each other
may you have wonderful days ahead
till we meet again, insyaAllah

special love goes to jagger, thanks for always cheering up my life
and providing me with the sort of motivation to come to school hahaha
i'm gonna miss your mischievous remarks and smile ;)

thanks for all the memories
thank You Allah for giving me the chance to be here :')

13.2.1989

happy birthday
wherever you are right now
may you always be in His protection and blessing

imy.